F*ck It List

After reviewing some “Blog How-To” blogs, my biggest take-away was that a great blog starts out with a clear theme, direction or message, etc.   I don’t have that.   If a directionless, purposeless, funky blog is not your thing … stop reading now!

My soul is cloudy, my inner compass a wee bit wonky and while I might have messages, thoughts, and realizations I want to share from time to time – the subject matter varies greatly.  However, I do feel this intense need to write, and share myself with the web-world.  Open up and let everyone see how full of shit I am!   Use it as a method of journaling- which is proven to be a successful form of therapy and one I have used in the past.

So, I have decided that my blog, for now, is a work-in-progress.  What it will be about 5 years down the road from now – and I hope there is a 5 years from now – is anybody’s guess.

All that being said, I do need to start somewhere and I have chosen for my very first post — and as the focus of my writing this year — to publicize my bucket list/goal list for 2016.  We shall call it my F*ck It List. Not because I think it’s a load of bullshit, or that I have nothing to lose. Things can always be worse, right?  But, I just don’t like generic labels like Goal List or Bucket List and swearing makes me smile.  I need to smile.

For those of you that know me well, you already know that 2015 was a rough year.  Yes, I got married – fabulous! Yes, I went on some great trips and to some fun events, not everything was necessarily bad in 2015.  But, I lost two pregnancies and those losses left a big festering hole in my heart.  I was pregnant for 29 weeks out of that year with no children to show for it.  My body feels abused and worn, despite the fact I wasn’t logging and pounding miles of pavement into my bones.  Honestly, I should feel a bit more healed taking a collective 6 month break from running!  I wasn’t drinking wine or coffee and eating pretty clean in an effort to provide my babies a great start.  Although, I did indulge the cookie cravings occasionally.  The hormonal shifts were rather rough, I gained weight (as I always have the first trimester, too much weight) unable to get a handle on the morning sickness that plagued me.  I ran considerably less than normal and running defines a huge part of who I am.  We traveled less … a lot less; it sucks to travel when you’re sick and tired all the time.  I experienced the first of a few panic attacks, which are quite unpleasant and made me realize that the anxiety I became accustomed to during my divorce 5 years ago was a walk in the park comparatively.  I just feel … not myself.

One thing I do love to do is set goals and achieve them – that is a huge part of who I am!  The theme for my F*ck It List is largely Recovery.   I won’t be the same woman I was a couple years ago, but I can rediscover the parts of me that I love so much and that have essentially been put on hold.  This is in no order of importance nor will be tackled in this order:

  1. Feel better: Body, Heart and Soul.
  2. Continue paying off debt.
  3. Aiden’s room – we have been in this house for a year – complete his room.
  4. Get rid of all the extra shit I have in my house. There is a lot – most of it is in the back room.
  5. Complete the back room – do something with it instead of collecting shit.
  6. Run one race a month in memory of Sweet Pea and Aoife Roux.
  7. Plan a destination race – possibly a Wine Theme – California or Washington?
  8. Plan two week-long vacations.
  9. PHX Summit Challenge – November PHX5.
  10. Plan an EPIC hike – Phantom Ranch? Peralta to First Water?
  11. Be ready to house hunt Jan 2017, move in spring (with as little shit) to pack as possible.
  12. Hike all 10 hikes on the Best Winter Hikes in Phoenix list.
  13. Learn to make homemade beer.

So there it is – my F*ck It List.  Subject to changes, deletions, additions and whatever else I want to subject my list too.  I think this is good place start and I’m comfortable with it.  I hope to link every post as a planning, in-process or completed check-in on my F*ck It List which should easily provide plenty of subject matter for my blog and experiences to write about.  If anything, it will be interesting to see how many of these F*ck It List action items I can cross off.

2 thoughts on “F*ck It List

  1. Love your writings. So well put and I plan on being a little part of it cuz I’m yo momma. While you’re pounding the pavement I’ll be getting fit with all the water aerobics I can handle. Hugs honey. Xoxo


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