After reviewing some “Blog How-To” blogs, my biggest take-away was that a great blog starts out with a clear theme, direction or message, etc. I don’t have that. If a directionless, purposeless, funky blog is not your thing … stop reading now!
My soul is cloudy, my inner compass a wee bit wonky and while I might have messages, thoughts, and realizations I want to share from time to time – the subject matter varies greatly. However, I do feel this intense need to write, and share myself with the web-world. Open up and let everyone see how full of shit I am! Use it as a method of journaling- which is proven to be a successful form of therapy and one I have used in the past.
So, I have decided that my blog, for now, is a work-in-progress. What it will be about 5 years down the road from now – and I hope there is a 5 years from now – is anybody’s guess.
All that being said, I do need to start somewhere and I have chosen for my very first post — and as the focus of my writing this year — to publicize my bucket list/goal list for 2016. We shall call it my F*ck It List. Not because I think it’s a load of bullshit, or that I have nothing to lose. Things can always be worse, right? But, I just don’t like generic labels like Goal List or Bucket List and swearing makes me smile. I need to smile.
For those of you that know me well, you already know that 2015 was a rough year. Yes, I got married – fabulous! Yes, I went on some great trips and to some fun events, not everything was necessarily bad in 2015. But, I lost two pregnancies and those losses left a big festering hole in my heart. I was pregnant for 29 weeks out of that year with no children to show for it. My body feels abused and worn, despite the fact I wasn’t logging and pounding miles of pavement into my bones. Honestly, I should feel a bit more healed taking a collective 6 month break from running! I wasn’t drinking wine or coffee and eating pretty clean in an effort to provide my babies a great start. Although, I did indulge the cookie cravings occasionally. The hormonal shifts were rather rough, I gained weight (as I always have the first trimester, too much weight) unable to get a handle on the morning sickness that plagued me. I ran considerably less than normal and running defines a huge part of who I am. We traveled less … a lot less; it sucks to travel when you’re sick and tired all the time. I experienced the first of a few panic attacks, which are quite unpleasant and made me realize that the anxiety I became accustomed to during my divorce 5 years ago was a walk in the park comparatively. I just feel … not myself.
One thing I do love to do is set goals and achieve them – that is a huge part of who I am! The theme for my F*ck It List is largely Recovery. I won’t be the same woman I was a couple years ago, but I can rediscover the parts of me that I love so much and that have essentially been put on hold. This is in no order of importance nor will be tackled in this order:
- Feel better: Body, Heart and Soul.
- Continue paying off debt.
- Aiden’s room – we have been in this house for a year – complete his room.
- Get rid of all the extra shit I have in my house. There is a lot – most of it is in the back room.
- Complete the back room – do something with it instead of collecting shit.
- Run one race a month in memory of Sweet Pea and Aoife Roux.
- Plan a destination race – possibly a Wine Theme – California or Washington?
- Plan two week-long vacations.
- PHX Summit Challenge – November PHX5.
- Plan an EPIC hike – Phantom Ranch? Peralta to First Water?
- Be ready to house hunt Jan 2017, move in spring (with as little shit) to pack as possible.
- Hike all 10 hikes on the Best Winter Hikes in Phoenix list.
- Learn to make homemade beer.
So there it is – my F*ck It List. Subject to changes, deletions, additions and whatever else I want to subject my list too. I think this is good place start and I’m comfortable with it. I hope to link every post as a planning, in-process or completed check-in on my F*ck It List which should easily provide plenty of subject matter for my blog and experiences to write about. If anything, it will be interesting to see how many of these F*ck It List action items I can cross off.